United States editionIn your inbox within a minute30-day money-back promise
The End of Life Plannerby Valoren

General information · not a substitute for the advice of an attorney.

Free · general informationUnited States

What to do when a parent dies

Your mother or father has died, and the practical side has landed on you. This page is for the son or daughter doing it: the calls, the papers, the house, the other parent.

It says who is allowed to act for your parent now. What to leave alone for the moment. What your other parent faces. What happens to the home, and to the things in it. Every fact is an official body's own sentence, with the date we read it.

The first day, the first week and the first month are set out in order, with a checklist to print or type into. Nothing here decides what your family must do. Your parent's state has its own pages, linked below.

  • Every fact dated, in the official words
  • Each state’s own law

Every quotation checked October 30, 2026 – November 3, 2026

The checklist: the first day, week and month, to print or type into

One sheet for who is doing what. Tick lists for the first day, the first week and the first month. A page of things to leave alone for now, and a page for who you have told. Letter paper. No email.

Standard print12 pages · 87 KB · PDFStandard print, typeable12 pages · 283 fields you can type into · PDFLarge print, 18 point45 pages · PDFLarge print, typeable45 pages · 283 fields · PDF

The reading is one page at the front. The rest is tick boxes and lines to write on.

Prepared and checked by Valoren, a publisher in London, England. No attorney has reviewed it. Checked November 3, 2026.

The free first-week checklist

Pages taken from the planner, by email: who to phone first, and a blank records sheet.

We use your email address to send the checklist and those emails, and for nothing else. We do not sell it. We first send one email asking you to confirm your address. Privacy notice

The phone page, free

One sheet: where the passcode is kept, your Apple Legacy Contact, and the recovery codes. It is the planner’s first section, cut short.

Download the phone page (PDF) →

The first day

What happens first depends on where your parent died. In a hospital or a nursing home, the staff know the steps. At home, you make one or two calls and let the right people come. These are the National Institute on Aging's own words, and one of Social Security's.

Where they died decides the first call

“What to do after someone dies depends on where the person died.”

National Institute on Aging · read October 30, 2026

At home, there is no rush to move them

“If someone dies at home, there is no need to move the body right away.”

National Institute on Aging · read October 30, 2026

Someone in authority pronounces the death

“As soon as possible, the death must be officially pronounced by someone in authority like a doctor in a hospital or nursing facility or a hospice nurse. This person also fills out the forms certifying the cause, time, and place of death.”

National Institute on Aging · read October 30, 2026

In hospice, the plan is already there; if not, ask

“If the person was in hospice, a plan for what happens after death will likely already be in place. If the person wasn’t in hospice, talk with the doctor, local medical examiner (coroner), local health department, or a funeral home representative about how to proceed.”

National Institute on Aging · read October 30, 2026

Moving them, when the family is ready

“Arrangements should be made to pick up the body as soon as the family is ready and according to local laws. This can be done by a funeral home or by the family themselves in most states.”

National Institute on Aging · read October 30, 2026

Give the funeral director the Social Security number

“Give the funeral director the deceased's Social Security number so he or she can report the death.”

Social Security Administration · read November 3, 2026

Telling the wider family can wait until you have sat down. One of you can make the calls. The sheet in the checklist is for writing down who does what.

Who is allowed to act for your parent now

This is the question that trips families up. A power of attorney stops at the death. The will names an executor, but it is the court that gives that person their authority. Until then, nobody in the family holds it: not the eldest, not the one who lived closest. Each row below is an official body's own sentence on what one person may do.

Where our own words sit beside the sentences, they describe how the law usually works. They do not say what your family may do. The person to ask is an attorney in your parent's state, and your parent's state pages are linked at the foot of this page.

Who may do what after a parent dies: each row is an official body's own sentence, with the date we read it.
WhoWhat the official words say they may do nowRead more
Their agent under a power of attorney

The authority ends with the death; the agent does not become the executor.

“In addition, your authority ends when she dies.” “Even if you can easily pay some of her outstanding bills, you will no longer have the authority to do so.”

Who acts for the estate

The executor named in the will, before the court acts

Being named is not yet authority; the court's letters are.

“Generally, an executor (or executrix) is named in a decedent's will to administer the estate and distribute properties as the decedent has directed.”

IRS Publication 559 · read October 30, 2026

“The executor — the person named in a will to carry out what it says after the person’s death — is responsible for settling the deceased person’s debts.”

Federal Trade Commission · read November 3, 2026

The executor's job, step by step

The executor or administrator the court has appointed

This is the person banks, the IRS and the Post Office ask for.

“Letters of Testamentary, also called Letters of Administration or Letters of Representation, is a document issued by the probate court. The document grants the authority to an estate administrator, executor or personal representative to manage the deceased taxpayer's affairs and estate.”

IRS · read October 30, 2026

“An administrator (or administratrix) is usually appointed by the court if no will exists, if no executor was named in the will, or if the named executor can't or won't serve.”

IRS Publication 559 · read October 30, 2026

Letters testamentary: what banks ask for

A son or daughter with no appointment

You may order the death certificate, and you may deal with mail at an address you shared. You are not responsible for the debts, and you cannot yet act for the estate.

“Only certain family members may be able to get a death certificate when someone dies. This includes a spouse, siblings, and children. But anyone can request them when they become public record.”

USAGov · read October 30, 2026

“You do not have to take responsibility for debts owed by a deceased person.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read November 3, 2026

“Provide documented proof that you are the appointed executor or administrator authorized to manage the deceased's mail. (Simply having their death certificate is not enough.)”

U.S. Postal Service · read November 3, 2026

Death certificates: who may order one

The funeral home

It usually reports the death to Social Security, and it must give you its prices.

“Funeral homes generally tell us when someone dies. So, you don’t typically need to report a death to us. If a funeral home isn’t involved or doesn't report the death for some reason, you should call us”

Social Security Administration · read October 30, 2026

“The Funeral Rule requires funeral directors to provide price information on the phone to any caller who asks for it.”

Federal Trade Commission · read October 30, 2026

Funeral planning checklist

The court

Where there is no will, or the named executor cannot serve, the court appoints someone.

“If there’s no will, the court may appoint an administrator, personal representative, or universal successor and give them the power to settle the affairs of the estate.”

Federal Trade Commission · read November 3, 2026

Probate, and what passes outside it

Who has the right to decide the funeral when nobody was named is set by each state's law. We have not read a federal sentence on it, so it is left off rather than guessed.

If your other parent is still living

A widowed parent is in two places at once: grieving, and suddenly the one who deals with the money. Four things come up in the first month. The payment Social Security describes. The debts. The joint account. The home. Each is below in the official words.

The one-time payment, and monthly survivor benefits

“A spouse might get a one-time death benefit payment of $255. If there’s no spouse, some children may be eligible.”

Social Security Administration · read October 30, 2026

“You may qualify if you’re the spouse, divorced spouse, child, or dependent parent of someone who worked and paid Social Security taxes before they died.”

Social Security Administration · read October 30, 2026

Their debts

“If your spouse dies, you’re generally not responsible for their debt, unless it’s a shared debt, or you are responsible under state law.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

“You may be personally responsible for the debt if you” “are the deceased person’s spouse and live in a community property state, such as California”

Federal Trade Commission · read November 3, 2026

A joint bank account

“Most joint bank or credit union accounts are held with “rights of survivorship.” This means that when one account owner dies, the money passes to the surviving owner, or equally to the rest of the owners if there are multiple people on the account.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

“You can look up the details in your account agreement, or ask your bank or credit union for the information.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

The home, and a reverse mortgage

“Reverse mortgage loans typically must be repaid, usually by selling the home, when the last borrower dies. However, non-borrowing spouses may be able to stay in the home if they meet certain criteria.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

Whether your parent qualifies for any of this is Social Security's, the bank's or the servicer's to say, not ours. One of you can sit with them for each call and each form.

Brothers and sisters: one person for the calls

Most of the friction between siblings in the first weeks is not about money. It is two people phoning the same bank, and nobody phoning the pension. Pick one person for the calls and one for the house, write it down, and tell each other what was said.

The checklist's second page is a sheet for this: the job, who has it, their phone number, and a box to tick when it is done. These are the jobs that usually need an owner.

The calls

the funeral home, Social Security, the bank, the insurers, the employer or pension, the landlord or servicer

The certificates

ordering the certified copies, and keeping them in one place

The house

the keys, the mail, the pets, the fridge, the heating, the locks

The papers

the will, the deeds, the policies, the statements, the passwords

The funeral

the prices, the notice, the service, the bill

The money

what the estate pays, and a note of what each of you has paid out

Your other parent

who sits with them for each call and each form

The belongings

nothing shared out yet, and a list of what people have asked for

A disagreement about the house or the will is not for this page, or for a weekend. Write it down, and bring it to an attorney in your parent's state together.

Their home

The house keeps costing money after the death, and the mail keeps coming. The sentences below are the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau's, HUD's and the Postal Service's.

The mortgage servicer, and proving a right to the home

“To receive certain information about the mortgage account, you should contact the mortgage servicer. You may need to show the mortgage servicer proof of your right to the home.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

“In the case of inheritance from someone who has died, that proof might include a copy of the executed will and the death certificate or a letter from the executor of the deceased person’s estate.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

The servicer does not go looking for you

“A servicer must maintain policies and procedures reasonably designed to ensure that the servicer can retain this information and promptly facilitate communication with potential successors in interest when a servicer is notified of their existence.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, Regulation X · read October 30, 2026

“A servicer is not required to conduct a search for potential successors in interest if the servicer has not received actual notice of their existence.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, Regulation X · read October 30, 2026

Taxes and insurance do not stop

“Property taxes and insurance on the property remain the responsibility of the borrower’s estate until title is transferred.”

U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development · read October 30, 2026

The mail

“After loved ones pass, you can stop mail from being sent to their addresses.”

U.S. Postal Service · read October 30, 2026

“If you shared a mailing address with someone who has died and continue to receive that mail, you have several options: You may open and manage the deceased's mail as needed.”

U.S. Postal Service · read November 3, 2026

Forwarding the mail to another address takes proof that you are the appointed executor or administrator. The Postal Service's sentence on that is in the table above. Lock the house. Tell the insurer it is empty. Keep every receipt.

Their belongings

The watch, the car, the photographs, the ring. Everyone was promised something, and everyone remembers it differently. Until the court has given someone authority, the things in the house are the estate's, not the family's to share out. The FTC's sentences below are why it matters.

“The executor — the person named in a will to carry out what it says after the person’s death — is responsible for settling the deceased person’s debts.”

Federal Trade Commission · read November 3, 2026

“You may be personally responsible for the debt if you” “were legally responsible for resolving the estate and didn’t follow certain state probate laws”

Federal Trade Commission · read November 3, 2026

So: make a list, take photographs, lock the door, and let nothing leave the house yet. What each person is owed is for the will, the state's law and the person the court appoints. The checklist has a page for the list.

What to leave alone for now

Most of the harm done in the first weeks is done by helping too fast. Each row is one thing to leave alone, the official sentence that says why, and what to do instead.

What to leave alone after a parent dies: each row with the official sentence behind it, and the date we read it.
Leave alone for nowWhy, in the official wordsDo this instead
Paying their bills from your own money

“By law, family members usually don’t have to pay the debts of a deceased relative from their own money. If there isn’t enough money in the estate to cover the debt, it usually goes unpaid. But there are exceptions to this rule.”

Federal Trade Commission · read October 30, 2026

“If you’re not responsible for a debt, debt collectors may still contact you if you’re a surviving spouse or oversee the estate, but it’s illegal for debt collectors to suggest you’re responsible for paying from your own money.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

Let the estate pay what it owes, through the person in charge.

Using their power of attorney

“In addition, your authority ends when she dies.” “Even if you can easily pay some of her outstanding bills, you will no longer have the authority to do so.”

Tell the bank the agent's authority has ended, and ask what it needs from the executor.

Keeping the Social Security payment for the month of death

“If the deceased was receiving Social Security benefits, you must return the benefits received for the month of death and any later months.” “If the payment was received by direct deposit, contact the bank or other financial institution. Ask them to return any funds received for the month of death or later.”

Social Security Administration · read November 3, 2026

Tell the bank, and let it send the payment back.

Closing their accounts before the court has named someone

An account the estate still needs stays open until the person in charge decides.

“The document grants the authority to an estate administrator, executor or personal representative to manage the deceased taxpayer's affairs and estate.”

IRS · read October 30, 2026

Tell the bank of the death and ask what it needs. Close nothing yet.

Putting their birth date and other details in the obituary

“Avoid putting too much information in an obituary that identity thieves could use.”

IRS · read October 30, 2026

“Some scammers check obituaries and other legal notices, and then contact relatives of the deceased posing as debt collectors. These scam artists can use your personal information to help them commit identity theft or other types of fraud.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

Name, age and the service. Leave out the birth date, the address and the mother's maiden name.

Giving details to a caller who says they are collecting a debt

“Avoid giving anyone your personal information. Never provide your Social Security number, birth date, or financial account numbers to anyone unless you know who you're dealing with.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

“Debt collectors can contact you to try and locate the executor or administrator of the estate, but they should not discuss or mention the debt to you.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

Take a name and a number, give nothing, and pass it to the person in charge.

Paying for a certified copy of the death certificate for every single task

“You may only need a photocopy for other tasks, such as canceling a subscription. Check with the agency or organization handling each account.”

USAGov · read October 30, 2026

“You will need to purchase a certified copy of the death certificate for tasks such as:” “Notifying the Social Security Administration and other government agencies” “Closing or transferring credit cards and bank accounts” “Claiming a person's life insurance or pension”

USAGov · read October 30, 2026

Order certified copies for the tasks USAGov lists, and photocopies for the rest.

Letting the home's insurance or property taxes lapse

“Property taxes and insurance on the property remain the responsibility of the borrower’s estate until title is transferred.”

Keep both paid from the estate, and keep the receipts.

The first week, then the first month

After the first day, things spread out. Almost nothing has to happen today. This is the order they usually come in, with the page that explains each one. The clocks with an official sentence behind them are quoted; everything else links.

The first week and the first month after a parent dies: what usually comes when, and where each step is explained.
WhenWhatWhere it is explained
The first day

The death is pronounced, and the funeral home or the family moves them.

The first hours

The first day

Give the funeral director the Social Security number, and ask for the price list before you sign anything.

The funeral home

The first day

Lock the house, feed the pets, and decide who makes the calls.

Who is doing what

The first week

Order certified copies of the death certificate.

“Many organizations require a certified copy of the death certificate when someone dies.”

USAGov · read October 30, 2026

Death certificates

The first week

Make sure Social Security has heard.

“Notify Social Security as soon as possible when someone getting benefits dies. In most cases, the funeral director will report the person's death to Social Security.”

Social Security Administration · read October 30, 2026

Social Security after a death

The first week

Find the will and the papers, and find out who is named.

Probate, and what passes outside it

The first week

Tell the bank, the employer or pension, the insurers and the landlord or servicer of the death. Close nothing yet.

The executor checklist

The first week

Ask one credit bureau for a deceased alert.

“Send credit bureaus a copy of the death certificate. Have them put a “deceased alert” on credit reports. Watch reports for unusual activity.”

IRS · read October 30, 2026

The executor checklist

The first week

Stop the mail, or manage it at a shared address.

Their home

The first month

The court: who is appointed, and the letters the bank asks to see.

Letters testamentary

The first month

Accounts that name a beneficiary, and life insurance.

Retirement accounts and life insurance

The first month

The mortgage servicer, and the home's taxes and insurance.

The home after a death

The first month

Tell collectors who the executor is, and nothing more.

Debts after a death

The first month

The person in charge tells the programs and businesses your parent used.

“After someone dies, notify the government programs and businesses they used. Cancel benefits payments and close or transfer accounts.”

USAGov · read October 30, 2026

Who to tell

The first month

If your parent served, VA burial and survivor benefits.

When a veteran dies

After

Money nobody knew about: the state's unclaimed property office, old pensions, old policies.

Unclaimed money

After

The final income tax return.

“A final return for a decedent who was a calendar year taxpayer is generally due on April 15 following the year of death, regardless of when during that year death occurred.”

IRS Publication 559 · read October 30, 2026

Taxes after a death

After

The estate tax return, if one is required.

“If Form 706 is required, the return and payment of any tax is due within 9 months after the date of the decedent’s death.”

IRS Publication 559 · read October 30, 2026

Taxes after a death

After

Your parent's state's own clocks: the will to the court, the inventory, creditors' claims.

The executor's clock

“Over the next few weeks, you may want to notify a few places about your loved one’s death.”

National Institute on Aging · read October 30, 2026

That is the pace. One person, one list, one call at a time.

The funeral home

You are buying something large, fast, while grieving. The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule gives you rights before you sign anything. These are its own words.

“Buy only the funeral arrangements you want. You have the right to buy separate goods (such as caskets) and services (such as embalming or a memorial service). You do not have to accept a package that may include items you do not want.”

Federal Trade Commission · read October 30, 2026

“Get a written, itemized price list when you visit a funeral home. The funeral home must give you a General Price List (GPL) that is yours to keep. It lists all the items and services the home offers, and the cost of each one.”

Federal Trade Commission · read October 30, 2026

“No state law requires routine embalming for every death. Some states require embalming or refrigeration if the body is not buried or cremated within a certain time; some states don’t require it at all. In most cases, refrigeration is an acceptable alternative.”

Federal Trade Commission · read October 30, 2026

“No state or local law requires the use of a casket for cremation.”

Federal Trade Commission · read October 30, 2026

Read the funeral home's contract before you sign. Ask whether a prepaid plan exists.

Your parent's state

Probate, the small estate route, the death certificate and the will are each state's own. Tap your parent's state for its pages, in its own words, with the date each was checked.

The checklist: the first day, week and month, to print or type into

One sheet for who is doing what. Tick lists for the first day, the first week and the first month. A page of things to leave alone for now, and a page for who you have told. Letter paper. No email.

Standard print12 pages · 87 KB · PDFStandard print, typeable12 pages · 283 fields you can type into · PDFLarge print, 18 point45 pages · PDFLarge print, typeable45 pages · 283 fields · PDF

The reading is one page at the front. The rest is tick boxes and lines to write on.

Prepared and checked by Valoren, a publisher in London, England. No attorney has reviewed it. Checked November 3, 2026.

FAQ

Common questions

Pay their bills yourself, use their power of attorney, keep the month-of-death Social Security payment, or share out their things before the court has named someone. Each row of the table above carries the official sentence. One of them:

“By law, family members usually don’t have to pay the debts of a deceased relative from their own money.”

Federal Trade Commission · read October 30, 2026

If the account was his alone, it is the estate's, and the bank waits for the person the court appoints. A joint account is different:

“when one account owner dies, the money passes to the surviving owner, or equally to the rest of the owners if there are multiple people on the account”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read October 30, 2026

Ask the bank which yours is.

Usually the funeral home.

“Funeral homes generally tell us when someone dies. So, you don’t typically need to report a death to us.”

Social Security Administration · read October 30, 2026

Give the funeral director the Social Security number. If no funeral home is involved, call Social Security yourself.

Usually not.

“You do not have to take responsibility for debts owed by a deceased person.”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read November 3, 2026

“But there are exceptions to this rule.”

Federal Trade Commission · read October 30, 2026

The exceptions are on the debts page in the FTC's own words. A loan you co-signed is one of them.

Debts after a death

No. The agent's authority ends at the death. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau tells agents:

“your authority ends when she dies”

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau · read November 3, 2026

After that, the executor or administrator acts, once the court appoints them.

It is not one rule. Some states let a small estate be collected by affidavit once that many days have passed. California:

“if 40 days have elapsed since the death of the decedent, the successor of the decedent may, without procuring letters of administration or awaiting probate of the will”

California Probate Code · read October 30, 2026

Your parent's state page says what its law says.

No.

“You will need to purchase a certified copy of the death certificate for tasks such as:” “Notifying the Social Security Administration and other government agencies” “Closing or transferring credit cards and bank accounts” “Claiming a person's life insurance or pension”

USAGov · read October 30, 2026

“You may only need a photocopy for other tasks, such as canceling a subscription.”

USAGov · read October 30, 2026

The court appoints someone, and the state's law says who inherits.

“If there’s no will, the court may appoint an administrator, personal representative, or universal successor and give them the power to settle the affairs of the estate.”

Federal Trade Commission · read November 3, 2026

Your parent's state's probate page carries its own words.

“If the person wasn’t in hospice, talk with the doctor, local medical examiner (coroner), local health department, or a funeral home representative about how to proceed.”

National Institute on Aging · read October 30, 2026

There is no need to move them straight away. Someone in authority pronounces the death before anything else happens.

Above, under "The checklist". Four copies of one file: standard print, large print, and a typeable copy of each. Who is doing what, the first day, the first week, the first month, what to leave alone, who you told, and the papers found. No email.

For your other parent, or for you

Most of what made this month hard is what was never written down. The End of Life Planner, US$39, is where a parent writes it down for their children, in their own state's edition. It can go to your other parent as a gift, from all of you.

Related pages

Friends sharing breakfast at a sunny patio table among citrus trees
A family on a boat dock in Florida: a grandfather fishing, a girl pointing at a heron
A family roasting marshmallows round a backyard fire pit at night

For anyone who would rather their family found it all in one place than went looking.

A couple. A parent. An adult child and a parent, doing it together. One sitting starts it; keep it current, and tell someone where it is.

“Apple can’t help remove the passcode lock without erasing the device.”

Apple says so on the page where families send it the death certificate. The first section of the planner is the one that stops that: the passcode, the Legacy Contact and the recovery codes, written down while you still can.

Apple Support, “Request access to a deceased family member’s Apple Account” · read November 2, 2026
A man on the telephone with the planner's pages open on the table